I like hanging on every word you spew out.

and to relate to something you once said,

i feel like i've been on an acid trip for the past 21 years, freaking out and so uncomfortable in my own skin.

Tonight i feel alot better, but i think it's because the world seems so much more hopeless. That's sad and i feel wrong. But still i feel better.

But i think i worry about the world too much and not enough about the world around me.
And now i want to shoulder the one's i love, to ease their pain.
I've been so much more selfish than what i believed, and i don't want to be that anymore.

I feel like my sisters let me down, and so i gave up on them and in turn let them down. And my mom who takes on soo much while i run around and only on occasion stop in to say hi. How can i honestly say i love my family when i've been so distant?

And my friends, i use them to make my life seem so much more full because as comfortable as i am all alone, i hate it. What have i done to make their lives better after they've made mine?

Ahh tonight has led to so much thinking about so many things. I'm so angry at the world and yet i am one of it's many problems so i'm also angry at myself. I've given up on what really makes the world turn, love of family and friends. If i don't excersize these things, how can i sit here and preach that the rest of the country should? How can i expect everyone else to take care of each other when i don't even do it?