sinking like a stone in the sea...

I love the water, it makes me feel other worldly. And i've learned something that is relatively common knowledge but i still treat like the world's greatest secret. That if you completely dive in, all at once, the temperature of the pool becomes bearable, almost instantly. This is how i always go about it. I dive in all at once without thinking.

The other day i dove in all at once without taking into account that it was only the end of april. And i discovered something i didn't want to believe possible. I discovered that sometimes, despite my tricks, the water is way too cold.

And i left Vicki's pool defeated.

You don't know her. She is pretty much my aunt except for the fact that we aren't related. Most of my family isn't related to me, it's a complicated story. But she lives alone out in the country. Her house is beautiful and she is an artist in my eyes, what with her beautiful flowers and clever decorations. She has a door in the center of her yard. Just a door, and she calls it her "door to everywhere." Sometimes i'll lay out in the sun and just stare at the door. It makes me think of C.S. Lewis. I wonder if he spent his time in an empty room staring at a wardrobe? I wonder if that's how he came up with Narnia?

If you know how he did, please don't tell me. I like to wonder.

Vicki has a pool which has always been my favorite part. It's where i've always spent my summers. It's where i continue to spend my summers, going there almost every day to swim laps and attempt to destroy my self conscienceness. I love it there.

I don't know where i'm going with all this. I'm kind of just writing whatever comes to my mind, waiting for Taylor to get on Facebook. Ahh why did i let myself get involved with that movie? It was really good but i think i'd rather have been on, chatting the night away.